nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
