'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
