So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
