see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
