I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just high enough for therapy.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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