White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
