so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
are you so shy because you have an std?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
