my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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