Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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