I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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