nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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