I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
