I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
