If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
