There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
