So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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