I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
