By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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