i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
