How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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