Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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