and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
