I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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