just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
