Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
