what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
