worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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