I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
