i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
