I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
