mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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