Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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