we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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