My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
