I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
