he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you didnt know i had herpes?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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