OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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