Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
