College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
