I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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