You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
