It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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