party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
