I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
