So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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