Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just gargled with NyQuil
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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