i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
