First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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