Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
