thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
