Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
