Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I want to make a zoo with you.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
