Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
