i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
