The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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