I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
