I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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