My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
