Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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