dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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