and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
