I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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