Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
