She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
