How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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