he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
