We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
