would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
