I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
