oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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